Background of Durvadal
Durvadal >> Worship of God
Amazed (Hairan)

Bhagwan (God) has come to my home! 
I cannot believe 
All my attempts are finally successful,
Seems my luck is changed.

I thought of keeping Him
In my closed eyelids
Till my last breath
And be a recipient of supreme happiness and respect.

I was lost in the memories,
As if in heaven.
But with his arrival,
I lost happiness and respect.
When He arrived,
I ran to welcome Him
In the hope of getting some love from Him
But instead, gave Him my heart and life.
I was surprised
To find myself a
Looser instead of a winner.

I am surprised to realize that
His memories are better than Himself (vision).
 I ask myself
Why there is no satisfaction
In the memories.

24 Sept 1923. Ajmer.

Why (Kyo)

Why should I try to please You?
Whenever I come
You shut the door at me.

Other day,
The thieves and robber cleaned me out.
I was scolded
When I remembered You.

I was deeply distressed
And hurt.
Somehow I reached You,
But you only kicked me.

Now You have awaken me.
I get result of my action.
But why there should be
Delay in the results of the action?

31 July 1931. Ajmer.

When? (Kab)

When will You hear my request?

I am tired of this world
Having long discussions and arguments.

How many nights
I spent in
Your nostalgic memories.
Seems like those are
About to be destroyed.
I quit my daily house-work,
Lost respect of everyone
Cried myself to blindness.
Where are You hidden?
My darling?

Revive my tired life
Liberate your Maina (a type of bird) from this cage.

24 July 1931. Ajmer.


I have come to Your shelter;
Please forgive all my faults, Prabhu (God).

I am nervous to see
The results of my actions.
The insults and ridicule of the world
Is beyond the limit of
My tolerance.
Now, dying does not seem
That difficult.
I am agitated during the day
And restless at night
Till morning.

I have come-----------------------------------------------

 I am burning
To ashes in regrets.
 I do not know
Where I am and
What I want,
As I am unable to make a stop
In this long journey
And think.

Every day
I make firm new decisions
But fail to act on it.
Please take care of
This heavy load of my sorrows.
I have come --------------------------------------------

As much as possible,
I do not perform evil actions.
Daily I fight with my foolish heart.
I want to be
In the company of
Higher intellectual people.
I want
To climb the ladder of success.
But all my attempts have failed.

I have come-------------------------------------------------------

I do not have
The necessary strength.
It can be helped only with Your strength.
I do not have anything of my own.
I am clinging to my dream
Of reaching you.
I consider myself lucky
To have strong faith in You.

I have come------------------------------------------------------------

1932. Ajmer Jail.

Auspicious name (Mangal Naam)

I live
To look at Your lovely form.

I live
To see the affection in Your eyes.

I live
With Your sweet memories
In my heart.

I live
To always chant
Your auspicious name.

1932. Ajmer Jail.

AT YOUR FEET (Charno Mey)

I do not wish for flattering words,
Ambition and
Songs of success, praise
And respect.
I do not want
Name, fame
And wealth.
I wish to have a little place
In your heart.

I only want to be at
Your  those feet which
Shelter many shelter-less.

Not dated.


Dev (God)! Will you really come?

Will You really
Appear to console my awaiting tired sad eyes.

Do not come in
Your massive form,
As I do not have a large enough place,
Where will You stay?
Do come
As Your tiniest form and
You will stay in my heart for ever.

Do not come like a windy blizzard storm
For You will blow me away.
Do come like gentle cool breeze
And revive a new life in me.

Do not come
As a bright radiant sun
For You will scorch me.
Do come
As cool calm rays of the moon,
Fill my heart with happiness.

Do not come
As a powerful master
For You will oppress me.
Do come as a friend
You will conquer my heart
And be victorious.

1939. Ajmer.

Hold my Hand (Kar Tham Lo)

Prabhu (God)!  Please hold my hand 
My chosen path is difficult
And I cannot walk anymore.

What looked like a small water puddle
Has become a wide ocean.
I cannot cross to the other side.

Someone said,
You take all shelter-less under Your protection
Uplift the fallen ones with Your love.
How can this restless poet forget
Your elixir like lovely form
Which inspired him with the eternal stream of heavenly thoughts?

 I may not have earned the right to see You
Due to lack of my devotion
And inability to perform the holy deeds.

 But I will be so grateful
To get a chance to touch Your feet.

My poverty prevents me to get the necessary articles
To offer You for Your worship.

I am anxious to see You.
Without Your vision I am like a fish out of water.

I offer my only possessions -  my warm tears drops.

I offer my life, Take it,
But please hold my hand.

Feb 1950. Delhi.

RIGHT (Adhikar)

Why are You silent
When it is my turn?

Why do You shut the door
When You see me coming?

I was a fool to think that
From the love for the world in Your heart,
I may receive a small share.
When I came to get it,
 I found that all Your love is dried up.

You made
Meera and Narsi (devotes) danced
And renounced the world.

How cruel is Your love that
Dropadi (A helpless character in Mahabharata) had to cry in desperation
Before You helped her.

 I get it.
You are very clever.
First You take and then give.

You made Your own suffer first
And then You shower them with Your generosity and kindness.

If You ask me
What right I have to come to You
When I complained so much?
Let me give you my answer.
My life is lifeless without You;
I have to,
As this is the call of my heart.

Feb 1957. Delhi.

SILENT CALL (Maun Pukar)

Oh Hari (God)! How long is it that
I am at your door?

What type of kindness is this that
You peaked and then hid?

I heard that You are the one and only shelter
And support of
Weak and unhappy people.

Since You balance justice and action,
How will be my salvation?
If You truly pervade into the tiniest particle
And knows everyone’s desire
Why do You want to hear my request?

 I heard
You are the support of entire universe
Then why do You
Always neglect Your own.

I am at Your door for a long time.
 Is this silent, distressed call
From my heart not enough for
You to help me?

Feb 1950. Delhi.

Worship (Poojan)

Should I worship body or heart?

I am confused as to
What will be appropriate choice?

Your beautiful, all decorated,
Very attractive idol
Tempts everyone in the world.
 But in my heart
Your love is there like a treasure
And I worship that.

In Your idol,
Your presence can be felt
Even in the smallest particle in nature.
When one’s heart is
Soaked with Your love,
Life is revived.

The usual offerings like flowers and leaves
Are not suitable
For my beloved Dev (God).

Only by offering my life;
I may get my precious treasure.

Feb 1950.

Why are You Upset with me (Kyo Rooth Gaye)?

Why are you upset with me Oh Bhagwan (God)?

Your greatness is,
In making-up with upset devotees.

Are You upset with me?

I have renounced everything;
There is nothing, mine or yours.
Whole world is ours.

You are I and I am You.
 Is the echoing sound.
The body changes to ashes and
All will be unified in the universe.

It is senseless to discuss that
Are You upset with me
Or I am upset with You.

The two words
Devotee and Bhagwan (God)
Really are synonymous.

Still if You want to stay upset with me
Then stay upset.
Lose Your respect, name and fame.

 I have lost myself in You
So to whom should I complain? 

Feb 1950. Delhi.

Complain (Ulahana)

What is my fault Oh Bhagwan (God)?

Why is the door of
Your vision is closed for me?

Why Your helping hand
Is pulled away from me?

Do You like to be worshipped only
By offer of garland
And sandal paste on forehead?

Do You want to forget a call
From a sad but pure heart?

Do You just want sweets and honey to be offered?
Do You not hear the cry of a crazy heart?

 I have opened my heart
To You
And waited a long night.

I am tired of waiting,
Looking at the path
You might take.

Seems like Kaliyug (the present time in the life cycle of time)
Has ruined my luck.

 Do You want to hear
My cries and then help me?

Why do You not hear
The sound of a silent sad unhappy heart
And help me?

Feb 1950. Delhi.

Your love (Teri Preeti)

How beautiful is Your form!

Wrapped in yellow clothes,
Jeweled crown on the forehead
Your four armed form is just lovely.

In the universe in the four directions
Your beauty is dispersed,
But my eyes cannot take so much
In my life time.

Smitten by Your love,
I wanted to just hold your hand
And forget the world.
I lost your hand.

All that worship of your idol is useless,
If Your affection is not here for my support.

With help of Your divine love
I can uplift my status from human to Bhagwan (God).

Feb 1950. Delhi.

Boon (Vardaan)

“I have come to you,
 So ask for the boon”.

“What more can I want
 When Bhagwan (God) You are here?”

“Ask for riches,
 Luck, respect, name
 And fame.”

“If I desired these things,
 Then why did I meditate?”

 Ask for something,
I am the great provider,
You can ask even for me.”

“In my limited space and life,
Where am I going to keep You?

 When You have come today,
 Then give me Your love
 As a sign for our acquaintance.

My request is
That let me just stay at Your feet
And give me the permission
To give You
Love of my heart
As a gift to You”

Feb 1950.

WHEN will You Come? (Kab Tak Aaoge)

Dev (God), when will You come?

You will be sorry if You do not tell me.

 How long do I have to look for the path you might take?

Have You forgotten me?

I have looked for You in the forests, homes, cities and in the country sites.

I have tired myself in Your search.

I do not find You anywhere.

Whom will You tell Your secret?


Difficulty (Duvidha)

Prabhuji!  (God) Your form charms my heart.

I forgot all my worship,
When I had your vision.
Till now,
I gave all,
What I had to serve people.

Now I am in trouble
Since I am charmed by
Your divine beauty.
My difficulty is
To choose you
Or continue to
Serve the poor, sad and helpless?
Please help me to decide,
As to what is the best way
To reach You?


Your Illusion (Teri Maya)

Bhagwan (God)! how do I sing songs of Your praise?
When lost,
 I found Your kindness and generosity.
Black snake with spread out hood came,
Hissed, ready to bite me.
Before I had time to be afraid of him,
I saw You.
Your illusion to misguide me,
Came in a form of beautiful charming image
But I did not feel even its shadow
As I was in
Your shelter at Your feet.
Sometimes I was trapped and then saved.
Sometimes I fell and then lifted.
I cannot understand Your illusion
So I daily meditate.
All the time when I made mistakes,
You only smiled at me.
I felt Your compassion and kindness,
But You hide.
How do I catch You?


(Geeta and Meera)

Bhagwan is here,

Meera (a well known devotee) washed His feet and asked
“Why do you look so lovely today?”

Geeta (a poetic episode in Mahabharata to reveal code of conduct of life to for liberation of soul) with all her treasured knowledge
“You came to have conversation with me?
Why do you love Meera so much?

I have come straight from Krishna’s (God’s) lips.
People talk with utmost respect about my virtues.
I enlighten their path to reach you.

Meera (a well known devotee) shamed her family,
Became crazy, cried and cried.
You forgot all Your senses
And hugged her”.

Bhagwan answered
“It is true that
You gave all the spiritual knowledge to the world.
You yourself did not get any of that knowledge,
Just like a lamp
Which gives light to everyone
But stays in the dark under its own shadow.

Meera reached me with her true love
And devotion
Not with her supreme knowledge.”

Geeta realized
The power of love over knowledge
And found shelter in Meera’s feet.


Wish (Abhilasha)

You say
“Ask, ask for your wish, I am at your home.”

Lost in my thoughts,
I was stunned when I heard Your words.

When I came to my senses, 
I lay down at Your feet and said,
“What else can I wish for,
When I am at Your feet
Where I want to be.

 My wish is
“You continue asking
And let me just keep on thinking.”


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